Salted With Fire

The blog

2011-05-04T23:18:00.001-07:00

I'm going to be keeping this blog and may/may not continue to update it. For now I've created www.journeytosee.blogspot.com which will be the new blog, with a different focus.

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The journey so far...

2011-05-01T20:43:00.001-07:00

Please forgive my horrible typographical errors, if any, as this was done on my phone. I just wanted to let anyone who reads or has come across this blog in the past (the 5 of you that have -- just kidding) that I'm seriously considering what I want to do with this blog. I have come a long way since the very beginning of 2007 and so has this blog. During that time I've used this medium to express some deep down and emotional things within me. Over the years I've been doing this I like to think I've matured even if by .001%, and its enough to have made me reassess my beliefs. I am a born-again Christian, and enjoyed a great honeymoon with God that got me through a tough and rewarding time in my life.

Fast forward about 4 years and God is not the same for me. It was tough the next 6 years, constantly living in guilt, thinking I couldn't find God and that perhaps he had taken notice of someone with more faith, anybody or nobody. It was a shock to my system, because I wondered if things could ever be the same. I tried being devout but that was me and not God.

Yes, I know there's times when God carries all of us, but it was in the end of this "devotion" that I started looking at philosophy. What I found, most recently, actually was not that philosophy was greater than God but that I no longer wished to seek after religion like I did before. What that means for me exactly I don't know. I do know that I have found important and crucial answers to my own, particular needs through this method.

I was a philosopher before I was a Christian, but now I am simply using "philosophy" or as little of it, religion and spirituality I can to be happy. I realize, also, that I was very, very unhappy with the amount of guilt I dealt with in not "measuring up", which the Bible says we cannot do anyway. Yet we are called to try. Its a paradox, to my thinking anyway, and it strikes me as irrational to live by such an incomprehensible standard.

What I liked about believing in God so passionately and having faith was that He could be anyone and anything you needed (within common sense and according to His nature). But I don't need this. I've found that I am much more capable than I, or my religion/spirituality gave me credit for.

I want to say that I respect all faiths, and have a unique respect for Christians, however I am looking to be happy and to live with myself, in a deep way that my beliefs wouldn't allow. What's happening inside of me is complicated, though my decision is quite simple.

The kind of happiness I seek is also quite personal -- in short its been a journey, and I will walk on. Whether I will meet God more along my path, I cannot know, though my guess is yes. One other thing I will say is that once I realized the irrationality of some of my Christian beliefs/habits (I was very devout, remember) my world quite literally collapsed and I found myself in my mind in a very sunny place. If losing your faith ib God does this to everybody, I highly recommend it. I mean that only half jokingly. I firmly believe that EVERYONE has a right to follow their own path. Don't let the Church or even God tell you differently. But even if you DO choose God, be opened minded enough to exclude other faiths, for a while anyhow. And see if that works for you. But always keep an open mind when it comes to your happiness. No one is capable of making you happy. No one. Not God or people, YOU. And YOU must obtain it.

I don't pretend to have attained this happiness yet, but I am to some small degree happy, and that is both revealing and something I am immensely thankful to myself for.

For this blog, I realize how hypocritical all this probably sounds, but its where I'm at and where I have fought tooth and nail for no less than 6 years NOT to be. When you fight for that long not to go in one direction yet find yourself still and inevitably going in THAT direction, well you're only kidding yourself to think otherwise. In fact, I am now fully going in that direction. And I am happy.

That's quite selfish, you might say, but there is a time for self-ism, if you will, and these past 10 or so years have not been the greatest excercise in this. I got tired of feeling like I was to be a sacrifice under external control. It was supposed to liberate me. It didn't. This is the place I need to be in, and its here and now.

I want to thank my reader(s) for communicating with me by simply reading any or all of my work and for simply being silent (or vocal) supporters so far. I may end up getting rid of this blog or renaming it and changing its focus. I don't know yet. You can follow me on Twitter if you'd like for now, under username "carsus x" (omit quotes and space).

Your friend,

BC

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In Tongues.

2011-04-30T18:03:00.001-07:00

I forfeited,
Followed,
By enslavement,
Now the shackles break,
And fall to the paved;
Yet I don't move,
Inaction,
Has been my own,
Self sanction,
Am I still shackled?
This is the question,
I ask,
Along the invisible,
Right path,
My task;
Yes, I am free,
Just like a trained,
Elephant tamed,
Learning the ways,
Of human grace;
What is this great, true thing,
Called "freedom"?
It is everything,
Grand possibilities,
Life, opportunities;
Falsehood and lies,
Discernable with,
Readily opened eyes,
Sacred as it may be,
Truth is attainable;
Superstition,
And religion,
Comfortable,
Easy notions,
Yield to oceans;
Yet there is static,
And there is movement,
Amidst reflection,
Cold water that will cleanse,
A face to recompense.

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Larva with Wings.

2011-04-30T17:25:00.001-07:00

There is peace at home,
Within these walls,
Not empty,
But open;
No more guilt,
Within these walls,
A mind saved from,
Meandering;
Peace without guilt,
At home, paramount,
Something died,
To bring forth life.

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No Heroes.

2011-04-27T20:17:00.001-07:00

Superheroes are a pun,
We cannot wait for them to come;
We must dance with the irrational,
And to ourselves be the confessionals;
We are horrible, horrible people,
With such a great burning hope;
But until we grow up,
There will be no heroes for us;
You might say that sounds glum,
But not to some;
Its good news when you find no one is there to save you,
It, you and only you, must do;
And that "it" is choose,
While awake its easier to do;
I sing a lament for my heroes,
With my harmonica I loathe;
But the loathing is for my expectations unfurled,
Broken and useless is all they ever were;
Show me a man or woman of integrity,
And I'll show you the vision of a legacy;
There are no heroes out there flying in the air so thin,
A hero is born everday, so look within.

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I am the Medicine.

2011-04-27T19:30:00.001-07:00

I am the medicine,
I am the drug,
The only one worth taking,
My life is a panacea,
And the great sun is shining;
A glass house,
Benefits not the resident,
Much less so,
A dark, self-imposed glass prison,
I am the only medicine;
Its like a summer day,
In Malibu,
For the first time in my life,
It's like feeling warm sunshine,
That old friend I hardly knew;
We are all Samurais,
Shoguns of our lives, minds,
Loving servants,
Of ourselves,
And we are worth fighting for;
You could call me selfish,
Or you could call me selfish,
It depends on your meaning,
We are like lambs,
But certainly not weaklings;
There are those too weak to walk,
But they're assuredly strong,
We are all cripples,
Its because we know it not,
There is a hero yet to be found;
I am the medicine,
Inside me, that's my answer,
The freedom I sought,
Is finally here,
I'm caged no longer;
Like a sparrow flying,
Upon eagles' wide wings,
The heart of a lion,
Trembling but oh so strong,
I will walk further;
No one was there to rescue the boy,
And no one needed be there,
The boy is now a man,
With a mind to think,
And safer ground to stand;
A vulture's back bends,
And its wings doth spread,
In an arc upwards,
Ready to fly,
I am my best friend;
I am the medicine,
Not a saint or sacrifice,
Nor evil devil inside,
I am all,
The beginning and end of my spirit's reason;
Hello, Brad -- I greet my self at home,
I care about my house,
It's a living monument,
Encased in pillars of flesh,
Alive in the poetic;
Passion,
Pain,
Sun,
Rain,
This is life;
A glass house won't protect you,
Its comfortable but not true,
Burst the smoke glass with me,
End the darkness within,
Burn with reason, passion;
What we know now is partial and incomplete,
Now we see through a glass darkly,
Then I will know fully even as He knows me,
I am the medicine,
Mercy is my meaning.

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Kernel.

2011-04-21T03:16:00.001-07:00

Like Linux,
It's open,
It's free to all,
Installable,
A disease,
But essentially at its core,
It stays,
Remains;
Like X-Windows,
Into the soul,
What we choose,
Is to control,
And it shows us our dirt,
But we must clear space,
We must empty our minds' preconceived notions,
And make an end with elixirs and potions;
WE must be open,
Like a GNOME,
In the forest of,
Of healing and Love,
Warm like a penguin,
Amongst the frozen,
Bubbles of falsehood and lies,
To keep our faith in mankind;
He is both open source and proprietary,
A lesson in mysterious simplicity,
We are the users who will choose,
Will we find intelligence or insanity?
Everyone has this, their paramount journey,
He calls us to count the cost of the free,
He is a strong centripetal force,
And the original open Source.

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Pankration and Flame Retardation.

2011-04-21T02:09:00.001-07:00

Light of Salvation,
Arm me with faith,
Teach me Pankration,
How to wrestle,
Dark apparitions;
Grant me faith,
In myself,
How to see,
Down the way,
Just a bit;
Mustard,
Salt,
The fig,
Olives,
A little goes a long way;
If I am to fight,
I must have,
A fighter's constitution,
Must believe I can do this,
I have to pin my enemies;
I can timidly say,
I'm beginning to understand,
Though I walk through,
This devil-starred night
And battle-scarred, fight;
Crack goes my pelvis,
A Ladder,
I thirst for,
Faith,
I have been selfish;
Knowing Truth forever,
Is becoming,
Becoming,
Blind and feeble,
And stronger than ever;
I am losing,
And yet gaining,
So much,
I push,
And it pushes back;
I am a toddler,
That can walk taller,
Than any giant,
Heroes aren't made,
Tell me what I am;
Yellow-blue-green hues,
What I am is proof,
I am a man that's in the way,
Like Jiu-Jitsu,
I bar the false with MMA;
Pankration to the head,
Teach,
Burn,
Deep,
Lead me past my path's bends;
Who I am is a wrestler,
A DDT to the lazy,
A man who can finally breathe,
And once again I've found the leak,
And that is a cause for great joy.

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Dreaming of Egypt.

2011-04-13T22:39:00.001-07:00

I hide behind a beacon,
Gaze out upon,
A horizon of vast skyscrapers,
Built on the backs of,
Slave labor,
The tattoo of the empire,
That my cybernetic heart,
Does revile;
I hide a phaser,
Waiting for the sentry,
To turn its laser,
Another way,
I run,
A spotlight!
Have I truly been discovered?
Has this slave met his end?
As I freeze and the oil and blood,
Within courses with bitter frost,
I realize,
That I can make a stand,
Several men surround,
One with a Muramasa blade,
As they rush at me,
I simply wait;
Time slows down,
And I close my eyes,
I am finally awake,
In a dream-like state,
Same nightmare-glitch again,
I look at my wife and thank my God,
For the freedom I have,
A man of dreams in a foreign land.

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The Beast upon Journey's Bridge.

2011-04-13T21:59:00.001-07:00

The knights,
Of the,
White Light,
Must fight,
With all,
Their might,
The battle of,
This life;
Medieval ways,
Of twisted frays,
Piles of rope,
Cannot hope,
To control,
The man of faith,
Who, in the face,
Of fear still stays;
I have found my worth,
The enemy I fight with,
Is just my own words,
A laugh in the cool, cool wind,
A deep joy breaks forth,
Freedom's touch crests against my skin,
Wings of holy fire and a sword,
The shattering of dead gild;
The heart of justice and courage,
Is value to those who will live,
And so it is the knight who lives,
Breathing is not a choice,
But real living and breathing is,
In this a good knight can rejoice,
That he has the wings and the voice,
To tackle any beast within his skin.

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Kinesis.

2011-04-13T20:59:00.001-07:00

They sought out the Beth,
A place,
A place,
Where Truth could be born,
There arose the best,
Guided by the Morning Star,
The place of rest;
The ghosts of the past,
Race to choke out fast,
Who will we be?
Will we turn -- flee?
Like a mound of sand,
Blown away in the wind,
No room at the warm inn;
Yet something birthed forth,
They found Bethlehem,
They found a mystery,
Given the answer,
That day He died,
The day He was born,
Behold, the King with pierced flesh.

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Salient Saline Solution.

2011-04-13T20:09:00.001-07:00

When the drab, black veil,
Of religion,
Is taken away,
I drop my sword,
At the sight of,
The beauty of the,
The truth of the obvious,
No longer oblivious;
Always the nine,
Never the ten,
It would seem,
That perfection,
Was a lie,
No one is perfect,
We all need help,
So I will reach out;
When I stop to think,
I can again breathe,
I realize the great value,
Of a friend,
And the crsytalline gold,
Salient and so true,
Hallelujah to the Jah,
A loving spear to the heart.

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Caterpillar Wings (Penetration.)

2011-03-08T12:04:00.000-08:00

Caterpillar Wings (Penetration.)

3/8/11:

Can You break through these walls?

Is there hope on the other side?

Because I need to be touched on the inside;

Penetrate me,

Break my shield,

Break through my defenses;

As hard as titanium,

Or adamantium,

I sometimes feel;

Living in the dark,

Because the Light can’t come in,

Yet You chip constantly at my bark;

Or perhaps the inside will break out?

No matter what,

Penetration is on my route;

As I feel the energy surge under my skin,

I begin to come to life again,

And somewhere a caterpillar spreads its wings.

Reflection.

2011-03-03T22:35:00.000-08:00

Reflection.

3/3/11:

Everything passes away,

We are not meant to stay,

Who we were is yesterday;

There was a child,

Tender and wild,

But he grew up;

Like world lines,

Stretching across time,

Who we were is what we are;

Yet we don’t have tomorrow,

We have today,

We have now;

We must build with our minds and our hands,

What tomorrow will be,

Yet tomorrow is not guaranteed;

This world is fading,

As it will always be,

This does not change;

To everything a season,

To every man,

A soul;

The soul lives on,

While the seasons fade,

This is not a permanent stay.

Tin Man.

2011-03-03T19:49:00.000-08:00

Tin Man.

3/3/11:

If I only had a heart,

Then I would see the Truth,

But the Truth is within me,

It always has been;

If I only had a heart,

Then I could face myself,

But I already have,

I am the Tin Man;

I am within you,

You are stronger than you know,

I Am with you,

You are stronger than you know;

My Son,

Don’t you see?

How can a man,

Lack a heart?

If I only had a heart,

But it is pierced by a spear,

It is gone and dead,

Yet it lives on in Christ;

There is no funeral pyre,

For this urgent desire,

There is only Light,

The heavenly end to the trite;

You must turn and walk the other way,

There is nothing but an empty sway,

Chicanery and falsehood night and day,

The dragon has been slain;

If I only had a heart,

I could feel the pain,

Walk through the rain,

And into Your warm embrace;

Yet there You wait,

I hear Your voice,

Suddenly the path is lighted,

It is time for this tin skin to feel again.

Mission Road.

2011-03-03T19:47:00.000-08:00

Mission Road.

3/3/11:

So there is,

A little,

Child inside,

Me after all,

There is faith;

He has been waiting,

For the adult to,

Give him permission,

To come out of the dark,

Along the road to the mission;

There is a car waiting for me,

Ready to take me home,

But that car has been within,

The whole time,

And there is faith;

My God,

There is faith,

This is the reckoning,

Through the dark night of the soul,

In the child’s eyes a twinkling;

I am relearning,

My life burning,

It will launch,

The arrows,

Of peace’s simplicities;

This child is a friendly ghost,

A friendly ghost,

Thank You,

Holy Ghost,

You grant peace to this child and his ghost;

Along the mission road,

There are sacrifices along the way,

Some things will be lost,

And some things found,

And treasures untold;

Whoever would come after Me,

Must take up his cross,

And carry it through the sufferings,

Crucify his fears,

And come to rest with Me;

Thank You,

Shalom,

Thank You,

Shalom,

I am at rest.

Road Signs for the Blind.

2011-02-10T22:30:00.000-08:00

Road Signs for the Blind.

2/10/11:

When I knock into myself,

I find God there,

How strange?

When I journey out onto a solitary island,

I find God there too,

Abiding in absolute Truth;

When I put my foot to the gas and race towards oblivion,

I find God there,

It’s so unfair;

When I put on my Anti-Christ armor,

I find God there also,

Does He know?

When I arm myself for the rebel resistance,

There is God,

How odd?

When the skies turn black with ash and the earth shakes,

Who is there?

A Jesus Christ signal flare;

When I choose to be aloof and turn my back,

I feel a tap,

I can’t damn myself even if I tried;

When I am seduced,

I’m not really reduced,

He guards my heart;

When I lose my sight,

And there is no more to fight,

Who do you think restores me?

When I wander into the labyrinth,

I see Holy Ghost print,

Written all over the walls;

When I hate,

There is grace,

There is Love for me;

When I fall off the vine,

Jesus drops down a line,

And grafts me back in;

I get tired of wrestling,

And give up,

It is then I become more than my burdens.

Dragonform.

2011-02-09T15:58:00.000-08:00

Dragonform.

2/9/11:

Like an insect,

We must beat our wings,

To breathe;

Like little flies,

To become dragonflies,

We must shed our skins to survive;

We must rest in Jesus - that is true,

But the heart requires exercise,

So, the Truth must be pursued;

We crave milk,

But steak,

Awaits;

There is no day like today,

To finally be saved,

From our slothful spiritual ways;

We must don the robe of a fighter,

Take up the bow,

And brandish the seven-ringed Sword;

Let’s expose Truth’s face:

We don’t have what it takes,

We’ll lose the race;

We must count the cost,

And go into training,

Hiking up the spiritual mountain steps of understanding.

Kissing Death.

2011-02-09T15:07:00.000-08:00

Kissing Death.

2/9/11:
Death and her cool embrace,
Show a different face,
When at last,
We end the chase;
"Take my lithe hand,
Young one.
Taste my skinless lips,
Little lad;"
The minds of men,
Cannot escape,
No, not one,
From the spiritual rape;
The only redress,
The only recourse,
The One True Course,
Is the Lamp beneath the feet;
She pulls you in and bombards,
She shells,
She carries you,
To Hell;
So, heed,
The Light,
When,
He speaks;
Like the color of sound,
It surely cannot be found,
Except by the one who,
Knows their own weakness;
We all die one way or another,
The only way to survive,
After we expire,
Is to rest in the Prince of Peace;
For Who is there,
Dying for a sinner?
For an evil generation?
So that they could have Life?
The only embrace,
Worth taking,
Is that of eternal life,
And waking;
We must choose courage,
Over inaction,
And inertia,
We must choose Life;
We will fly up above it all,
Gain peace and enthrall,
An eternity with Light,
Sadly most will miss this;
Jesus speaks to us:
"Who is there that would follow Me to the end?
Would there be just one who doesn't stray?
No, not one among them,
But where there is doubt there is grace;"
So, we need not fear our graves,
Within our hearts,
Within the ground,
Or within our doubts;
For in the darkest nights of the soul,
There comes a ray of hope,
That somehow we know,
We always find our way back home.

Selling Innocence.

2011-02-09T14:34:00.001-08:00

To sell doves,
In the,
Marketplaces of our,
Hearts,
One must,
Only overcome,
The innocent at heart;
Abracadabra,
It must,
Be driven out,
By righteous indignation's,
Cords of Love,
Whipped clean,
Like stripes to the back;
You can find it in the Camel's eyes,
So incredibly easy to belie,
Or in the oratories of occult ostracism,
That we readily flee,
Only to be the fools of our own untruths,
We shall never have innocence,
As long as it has wings.

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Boomerang Logic.

2011-01-31T16:20:00.000-08:00

Boomerang Logic.

1/31/11:

I thought I had it all figured out,

But I became a free-falling burnout,

And a furious one I was,

But how could I fly?

Without my eyes?

Without wings?

Wisdom eludes,

And it can’t be chased,

The path or past erased,

I need Truth,

For God’s sake,

Save this fool;

The first step is a cold one,

A terrifying shattering of your world,

But I will walk the path,

I will leave the past,

For greener grass,

And cease my boomerang logic;

I Am a Man,

But so much more,

I Am every One,

Yet I don’t concern Myself,

With ancient lore,

Just, simply, only … the Truth;

And You are the Truth,

My God,

Have I been missing it all along?

I’ve been running from this dialogue,

For so long,

Could it be that I am wrong?

It’s said that You are Love,

It’s said that You are the Originator of Wisdom,

That You would help this lad,

To understand,

Thank You because,

The fear of God is the beginning of all Wisdom;

If this is true,

I am closer to home,

With Heaven close to my breast,

A fire in my soul,

A free spirit,

And the burning of the control codes;

Straight to the sky,

I wish to fly,

Straight up high,

A vertical ride,

With wings I glide,

And feebly opening eyes.

Soul (The Prodigal.)

2011-01-30T13:06:00.000-08:00

Note to reader: Can you figure out why I posted a black square (above) for the picture? It shouldn't be that difficult when you consider the emptiness and openness of space.

Soul (The Prodigal.)

1/30/11:

There are seasons to every soul,

But I feel like the prodigal of old,

Longing, tired and weak from running,

And longing to come back home;

I wasted my riches on whores,

Fast cars and pimp living,

I forfeited my glorious inheritance,

For some pods fed to the pigs;

I am a cripple-winged bird,

A sparrow mending its worth,

Wandering has brought,

The sparrow back to the mirror;

And it goes so deep,

Down to the marrow,

Like being caught in a bear trap,

I had to amputate;

You see there are seasons upon these souls,

That Jesus picks out to refine like gemstones,

There are burdens that only HE can unload,

And two paths diverged along the road;

When it comes down to brass tacks,

We won’t forget our barefoot tracks,

Along the beaches and in the sands,

That we are not alone;

I had to amputate,

Regulate,

Burn,

And rage like the phoenix’s flames;

When the chips are down,

When nothing’s left,

I do not drown,

I swim;

You can crucify Love,

But you can’t stop it,

I’ve got a permanent mark,

The Lion’s heart Star;

If I’m just a mortal,

Then what is this that I find?

That I am indestructible,

When faith is the bottom line?

You can’t destroy titanium so easily,

It’s a peaceful bottom line,

But one that is yours,

And one that is mine.

She Worships UFOs.

2011-01-13T21:29:00.000-08:00

She Worships UFOs.

1/13/11:

Greed me,

Greed be,

Greed is free,

But you can’t pay its fees;

Yet it’s like worshipping UFOs,

You have to use your imagination,

To know what you can’t have,

And strive for it like clay animation;

Greed me up,

Fill me up,

So it can escape,

Through the hole that gapes;

Greed we be,

Turmoil and war,

Is the only true reward,

For our toil;

There is no hope,

Not One,

For the soul,

That runs in cowardice;

Portmanteau of fools,

Déjà vu,

It bleeds together,

Again;

Greed and fear,

Seem to be,

Fearsome monsters,

When we have our backs turned;

Greed be,

Greed is free,

But you can’t pay its fees,

But do you ask why you bleed?

The disease,

Kills us slowly,

Whatever it may be,

Ask yourself;

Ashura and Osiris,

The divine cash cows,

So goes the whirlwind,

Flee and burn the bridge;

Put on your tinfoil helmets,

Tune to the radio waves of eternity,

Because they’re coming,

The aliens know where you live.

Beast Song.

2011-01-13T19:25:00.000-08:00

Another one from '05...
Beast Song.

11/05/05:

I see the beast,

With its gruesome lie,

It sings and snares,

The greatest and the least to die;

“Come to me,

Come and see,

Come and dance,

Come and prance;

Touch my hand,

Taste my lips,

Lust is my brand,

Now amorous drips;

Of passionate wine,

Will sustain,

Through all pain,

Through all time;”

Yet there is greater charity,

Through love and purity,

That awaits with open arm,

To keep His children safe from harm.

Useful.

2011-01-13T19:14:00.000-08:00

Useful.

3/8/09:

Ugly,

And blemished,

Made spotless,

And useful;

Sinner,

Liar,

Fool,

Useful;

Lost,

Wanderer,

Forgetful,

Useful;

Tempestuous temper,

Uncaring,

Lazy,

Useful;

Incapable,

Paralyzed,

Handicapped,

Useful;

Hateful,

Closed off,

Shut down,

Useful;

Murderer,

Slave to sin,

Slanderer,

Useful;

Without rights,

The ability to fight,

A lack of sight,

Useful;

A fallen dove picked up,

By divinity and Love,

Is both beautiful,

And useful.

Nightmare of a Being Appearing as Light.

2011-01-13T19:07:00.000-08:00

An older poem ....

Nightmare of a Being Appearing as Light.

10/10/08:
We don’t need to live in this hate,
Yet why does confession wait?
Inside the demons,
Hide a tainted state;
Mistreated when children,
Colored by culture or subtly defiled,
Setting this cross ablaze,
And the magma surges up so wild;
This twisted cross has begged for the innocence,
That we must realize only God can again give us,
This world is repeatedly violated,
It’s time for the hurting to come to repentance;
Violation’s origination,
Lies in the flawed imagination,
Of a fallen being who’s gotten us to see a world,
With contorted truth and reason;
We will find at the end of this comfortable course,
That in our wars,
We’re as close to our dreams,
As the grave is to a corpse;
What stands in our way is us,
We’re scarred, broken children in need of Jesus,
And so we’ll find after the grave, without Love, we were never innocent,
But instead we’ll be right back where evenness left us;
What hope does a world of seething, putrid decay have?
Perhaps a drug to destroy the enemy’s craft?
Because without relief,
We’ll be a whole missing a half;
Innocence begs from the grave to fly,
While the vultures hover over waiting for it to die,
No, innocence doesn’t defend itself,
But we cannot become children unless we try;
How can we stand in God’s way?
When we couldn’t even pay to live another day?
But all the wrongs of our objects are made right in One Man,
If what I know is a world of hate then, “Reason, come today.”

Jesus is a Nerd.

2011-01-13T18:58:00.000-08:00

Jesus is a Nerd.

1/13/11:

I remember back in High School,

They called You a Freak,

Because You ate with all the outcasts,

Looking back nostalgically,

I think of the time You spent,

With this geek;

I remember when they wanted to,

Throw things at You,

Boy, those days were so alive,

With You by my side,

I was no less a nerd,

But I walked with a bounce in my step;

You sat with the gang members,

The slutty girls,

The Bible thumpers,

The mentally handicapped,

You ignored the mores and laws,

Of the popularity contest;

And You still do,

Everyday,

You bring me food,

When no one else will,

Whether its pizza or bread,

Or wine;

You are the best Friend a guy could have,

When will I grow up to meet You?

When will You deal with the bullies of this world?

Show them the value of the turned cheek?

When will You come back?

I suppose I’ll never know these things;

You are so much more than playground fights,

Premarital teen sex,

Prom dates,

And whatever can happen in one night,

If You did go to the Prom,

You’d wear a neon-white tux;

The bullies can’t touch You anymore,

Nor can the teachers of Your day,

Because You are greater than they,

You are the Spirit of going against the flow,

You are the King of the game of Life,

You are the end of all divides.

Like a Glove Haiku.

2011-01-13T18:23:00.000-08:00

Three related haiku from '05.

Like a Glove Haiku.

7/1/05:

Eagle soars above,

Tokens of Love shine right through,

Eyes range through the earth;

Great Zephyr of Love,

Whisk me up into calm skies,

Grant me what I need;

Fitting as a glove,

This dichotomy departs,

Let grace touch our souls;

Mystery Brush.

2011-01-13T18:14:00.000-08:00

From the vault ...

Mystery Brush.

5/15/07:

We are God’s mosaic,

Interwoven,

And painted,

With fate;

We are inspirations to our brothers,

Inspired by compassion,

We are doves set free,

By faith;

Splattered with colors,

Flavored with salt,

Growing anew,

God reaches out for all;

Beauty and love,

Found from remarkable sources,

Tableaus mysterious like the wind,

We are masterpieces.

Lilies.

2011-01-13T18:05:00.000-08:00

An old poem ...

Lilies.

4/9/07:

I worked so hard,

To burn in lard,

I made the mistake,

Of trying to build a god,

When I had Jesus right here with me;

I need Jesus’ all-healing touch,

I need to surrender so much,

To be honest, I am scared,

Though One reassures,

It somehow doesn’t always help;

I long to not labor or spin,

I faint for Your touch to wash sin,

I long for my place in Your Kingdom,

Can crimson lilies be made white?

Can this nothingness be filled tonight?

A Meditation For The Troubled Mind.

2011-01-13T17:58:00.000-08:00

This was a "meditation" I wrote when I was going through a particularly difficult part of my life. I wrote it mainly for myself, to focus on God, but I realized it could help others, so I kept it. It's really long, as far as my poems go -- more of an essay.

A Meditation For The Troubled Mind.

1/17/04:

Shout praises to the Lord,

God is just and God is great,

Thank You for Jesus,

God is just and God is great,

Thank You for Your grace,

God is just and God is great,

Hallelujah,

God is just and God is great,

He gave me death,

He gave me life,

Hallelujah,

God is just and God is great,

He gives me strength,

God is just and God is great,

You are the Holy One Who saves,

Because of You I was Healed,

Because of You I am Healed now,

Hallelujah,

God is just and God is great,

Hallelujah!

God is just and God is great.

Thank You Heavenly One for sending Your Son in my place,

God is just and God is great,

I will praise Your glory even when I’m weak,

God is just and God is great,

With a word He set forth creation,

With a breath He blew life into Adam,

God is just and God is great,

Here I am with hope before my eyes,

God is just and God is great,

I live only because of His mercy.

God is just and God is great,

I live with promise,

God is just and God is great,

I have eternal life,

God is just and God is great,

Mended by His hands,

Remade because of His simple grace,

God is just and God is great.

I lift You up,

God is just and God is great,

I sing of Your holy name,

God is just and God is great,

I meditate on Your word,

God is just and God is great,

I lift my hands to You,

God is just and God is great,

Lift my every cry to You,

God is just and God is great,

My soul to You,

God is just and God is great,

Thank You,

God is just and God is great,

Thank You,

God is just and God is great,

Thank You,

God is just and God is great.

Almighty,

Breathing life,

Good,

God is just and God is great,

Good,

Highest,

Most exalted,

Above knowledge,

Above wisdom,

God is just and God is great,

Mercy,

Love,

Undying support,

Burning brighter than any light,

Greater than day or night,

God is just and God is great,

My only hope,

Thunderous like lightning,

Your voice is like thunder,

But You were humble enough to die as a man,

God is just and God is great,

For me,

God is just and God is great.

Greater than the stars in the sky,

Greater than You or I,

God is just and God is great,

Lord of lords and King of kings,

Powerful and fierce,

God is just and God is great,

Loving garland around my neck,

God is just and God is great,

My support when I fall,

A mighty wall to lean against through it all,

Good,

God is just and God is great.

Thankful for all that You have done,

God is just and God is great,

Thankful for all that You are doing,

God is just and God is great,

Thankful for all You are going to do,

God is just and God is great,

Thank You for saving the saints,

God is just and God is great,

Thank You for counting me as one of the loved ones,

God is just and God is great,

Thank You for loving the lost,

God is just and God is great,

Thank You for an eternity with You,

God is just and God is great,

Thank You for being the God of Peace,

Thank You for being the God of Healing,

Thank You for being the God of Love,

Thank You for being God With Us,

God is just and God is great.

Your everlasting love knows no bounds,

Your undying love,

God is just and God is great,

Almighty,

Forger of life,

Amazing,

God is just and God is great,

Your son is the awesome sacrifice,

Salvation the awesome gift,

God is just and God is great,

Let me praise You,

With all my lips,

With all my body,

Let me praise You,

With all my Heart,

Let me praise You,

God is just and God is great,

Wrestled with Jacob,

Made him into Israel,

Your kingdom lasts forever,

God is just and God is great,

Preserved Daniel from the mouth of the lion,

God is just and God is great.

A love that outlasts centuries,

A touch that outlasts great pain,

God is just and God is great,

Jesus Christ,

God is just and God is great,

Giving us something more than fallen man to follow,

Your love is there,

God is just and God is great,

Sing praises to the Lord,

God is just and God is great,

Loving,

Tender,

Mercy,

Unfaltering,

You did not change,

Though I changed a thousand times,

God is just and God is great,

A humble man,

I come to You,

Not having anything,

God is just and God is great.

Wonderful,

Heaven’s throne,

God is just and God is great,

The sun breaks free from the clouds,

God is just and God is great,

You are the One of renown and glory,

God is just and God is great,

Unbroken Stone,

God is just and God is great,

Grasping shafts of light,

For they are my life,

God is just and God is great,

Riding the open waves,

God is just and God is great,

Unbroken Stone,

With my feet on the ground,

I fly away,

With hope racing through my lungs,

I lift my hands to the sky,

God is just and God is great.

I have life!

Hallelujah!

What I have is more precious than any jewel,

God is just and God is great,

Compassion and strength,

God is just and God is great,

Warmth tugs at my Heart,

God is just and God is great.

You hate injustice,

And You can see man for who He is,

God is just and God is great,

I am miniscule when compared to You,

God is just and God is great,

I give thanks to You,

God is just and God is great,

I give thanks to You,

God is just and God is great,

I give thanks to You,

God is just and God is great,

Wine stained bread,

God is just and God is great,

I will praise Your glory,

God is just and God is great,

I see an image of the blue canopy,

Of the stars up high,

God is just and God is great.

God is just and God is great,

God is just and God is great.

Moth.

2011-01-13T17:04:00.000-08:00

Here's one from the archives.

Moth.

6/6/07:

Shadows loom,

If I were to claim,

The sun not a boon,

Quick I would be shamed;

Refraction won’t help,

This dark room burns black,

Set off like a match,

And I’ll never have you back;

Flares invisible so hauntingly,

I leapt so far off the Son,

Will Its magnanimous gravity,

Chance me a graceful dance for mercy?

Light through a kaleidoscope belies true hope,

Watching flames give birth,

The light rays show us dirt,

But they also show worth.

Street Operative.

2011-01-13T14:55:00.000-08:00

Street Operative.

1/13/11:

Walking the streets tonight,

Looking for a fight;

I have a purpose,

Though I keep forgetting this;

My soul knows there is something,

Higher than this Earthly churning;

If life were aquiline, if found,

Then living would be skyward bound;

Where did I think I could go?

To be safe from the Road?

Like flipping a furnace switch,

This is what I’ve missed;

When emerging from the icy-frothed cave,

A blizzard greets me amidst the haze;

I’ve discovered something greater,

It’s what I’m here for;

This discovery, like man inventing fire,

Burns brightly from these fists -- cleansing the muck and mire;

I write from a place of sunlight,

It cracks the earth, the skies;

From Bombay to Santa Fe,

From China to Australia whether night or day;

Like bullets flying,

One will hit me;

There is no escape,

From the Way;

Even if you wore Kevlar today,

You could not escape His deadly face;

And it kills,

And it kills the stubborn will;

Energy in the fists,

Flying up past the wrists;

The mere thought crushes a Man,

But who are we to fight God’s plan with shoryukens?

I have a purpose,

Hallelujah cries, heavenward;

So let’s all sing the hymns,

Of the freedom found in this;

I have a purpose,

We are not alone.

Tell Me, Peter.

2011-01-13T14:15:00.000-08:00

Tell Me, Peter.

1/13/11:

Tell Me, Peter,

Who do you say that I Am?

Do you see your Savior?

Or simply a man dying for a crime?

Who am I to you?

Tell Me, Peter,

Will you walk with Me?

Led by the hand?

To where you don’t want to go?

Is your faith for real or for show?

There will be lions lurking,

Prowling about,

They seek to devour faith,

The purest of souls to hurt,

Tell Me, Peter;

Will you continue to deny,

The miracle dancing before your eyes?

I want to hear,

I want to see,

I want to feel your love forever;

I have always sought you out, Peter,

On this rock I have built a Church,

I Love you, Peter,

Who am I to you?

Tell Me, My rock;

It is not for Me that I ask these questions,

But for the Church burning in your spirit,

Longing to be free,

You will not break, crack nor crumble,

So long as you believe;

And I Am many things to my people,

I will be what I will be,

But until the skies become thundery,

You can hold My death close to your hearts,

Or part ways with Me;

You have many paths of spiritual journeying,

But only One that leads to Truth and peace,

Tell Me, follower,

Do you Love Me more than these?

Shall I ask again?

Feed My sheep,

Care for them,

For I will lay your soul down to sleep,

And you will inherit a fortune of peace everlasting.

Reverberations of the Saints.

2010-12-25T19:54:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas! 2010 is almost gone, hard to believe. Here are my latest scribblings...

Reverberations of the Saints.

12/25/10:

The Virus that makes all of us,

Lives inside burning like acid,

It binds to the soul’s core,

Destroying unhealthy tissues,

Of the chaos and turmoil,

Of this world evermore;

At the heart I am what You are,

I come barren and naked,

Bleeding and wet with tears,

Alabaster,

Preparing this world for burial,

And the rising of the Son;

Strength in high doses,

He brings to our dirty bodies,

The sheer filth of the world,

Cannot compare to,

The smallest dose of Strength,

We are a world of frailty;

Fall out befalls the wise,

The fool like a lizard,

Shows up in the most opulent,

The great un-equalizer,

Becomes the secret of,

Great women and men;

But this Virus I convey,

That I breathe in your face,

Cannot be so easily taken,

Vibrant Melody,

Tell me what’s the solution,

When barrenness befalls you?

Zen undertakings,

And pushing,

Lack of striving,

Striving to run from,

Are not so placid,

To save from the acid;

Holy indignation can drive,

And burn up the core of,

A man’s soul-life,

It can empower,

And cripple;

Faith in nothing,

Is still faith my friend,

And faith in God or gods,

Is still religion,

Not spiritual thinking,

Crippled but not lost;

There is a place with no shackles,

A place that exists spiritual,

In the heart of a child,

I am at home with my Virus,

Why run?

Brian 6:3 (Where Man Meets the Trinity.)

2010-12-05T01:38:00.000-08:00

Brian 6:3 (Where Man Meets the Trinity.)

12/5/10:

My soul is damnably pierced,

Don’t You see that?

I see it;

Underneath it all,

I’m a fractured human being,

Who bleeds for the truth of the secrets of his soul;

I was fractured almost from birth,

A five-year-old changed and burnt,

But the most important question is who I am going forward;

From this vantage point,

Atop the crossroads,

I can see many paths to disappoint;

I can see only One I know,

That can give me the answers to my neurosis,

That can chill the fire so cold;

I don’t know anything anymore,

So I’m going to share my sanity and insanity,

In hopes that it gives someone hope;

Religion and spirituality must not be a crutch,

Because they cannot heal the past itself,

Only point the way to a future and a hope for Love;

And it is a future I want,

The joke would be in not obtaining that future,

A joke not to myself but to the tragedy of it all;

And yes, the tragedy of it all,

It seems so silly for fractured stone,

To want softness instead of being alone;

No man is an island unto himself it’s been said,

Well, that is the gospel truth,

It’s time for me to put away the dead;

Yet I cannot even now,

Though I begin to fathom,

Know the fullest extent of the fracturing that has been allowed;

I have been dancing around my anger,

My pain, my torch song, life,

In an intelligent but fragile stab at an anchor;

These last ten years have been interesting,

An experiment of life if you’re willing,

But in this sense, absolutely not of spirituality;

Yes I have been experimenting with life,

But the real Jesus has been waiting for me,

This whole time;

I can see how trash can become gold,

Junk,

Can become someone else’s treasure untold;

I have escaped many men’s fates,

By believing in something higher than me,

By spreading eagle’s wings and flying;

But in the end wings aren’t always medicine,

Something lurks deep inside me begging to begin,

Begging to come in;

So I must open the door and let it in,

Is that boy of five able to give me my answers?

Or is he dead along with my cancers?

This boy is surely dead and does not live,

But I must become a forensic expert,

And ace detective;

The truth is that this normal man,

Is none other than a cripple,

Shriveled;

That husk waving in the wind,

Is the shedding of skin,

Nothing more;

That boy I remember,

Was so distraught to tell someone,

That he could barely tell his mother;

But that boy was me,

And in microcosm – a beginning,

He shows me my need for a confidant;

But do I ask God?

As I just said God isn’t the medicine that heals the past,

The past is dead though it goeth on;

It is true that God can heal wounds from the past,

But He doesn’t heal the boy or girl in that past,

He can only seal the wounds with scars on your behalf;

Where am I going with this?

Simply that I have hit just below the surface,

Of a big, ugly iceberg;

I don’t expect to come out of this alive,

No one does,

Because one out of one dies;

But while I’m here I owe it to myself,

To not be bitter and to seek a better life,

But can a better life be had or dealt?

I don’t think so,

Not one free from strife and hate,

Not one free from scars and pain;

But for all that I believe and where I stand,

I know things can only get better,

There is no hope out there;

There is hope in God,

But God will not be my medicine,

He will be many things including a healer;

But not my medicine,

He and I still have much to explore,

And perhaps this is His restore;

I will not give into faithlessness,

I have no choosing to,

But in this night of searching I need personal truth;

What is personal truth for this person?

It is a phoenix rising from the ashes,

But that phoenix again sets like the sun;

He or she rises again,

To fall another day,

Yet remembering where he or she’s been;

So who will heal that boy?

Will his molester?

Will his family or heavenly Father?

I can’t say,

I can only think,

Of a future without the link file to those days;

I want to share with you that I was treated indecently,

I was a child and I had no idea what was happening,

So help me understand why you hinder me.

70 Times Infinity.

2010-11-29T21:05:00.000-08:00

Matthew 18:22

70 Times Infinity.

11/29/10:

Peter wanted to know the answer,

To the ever-eternally-burning question:

Should we forgive those who trespass against us?

Should we fight fire with fire?

Indeed I have struggled with this;

We are wronged every day,

If not by other people, by ourselves,

We sell ourselves short and I think this calls for anger,

Every day,

But we must harness this or be in danger;

Like a fire hydrant without a hose,

Don’t let the fire burn out of control,

A man who contains his fire,

Is stronger than he who,

Destroys castle walls;

That Bible of yours isn’t just some pretty words,

It contains fire,

It contains sulfur,

It’s correct when it says every knee shall bow before Almighty God,

He is Sovereign;

So if there is none like the Almighty,

And there is no “might” to his might,

Should we not choose to shine,

To burn heavy, heaping, high with passionate fires?

Fires of compassion and humanity?

I forgive you,

Even before you do it,

I can see the Christ in your soul,

Though you may never know,

Forgive me, Father for I know not what I do.

Crosses Over the Snow.

2010-11-29T19:49:00.000-08:00

Crosses Over the Snow.

11/29/10:

Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me,

Peace heaped upon blessings,

Like gold instead of junk,

Like a beautiful melody in my ears;

Eagle’s wings upon the blue skies,

The Spirit of the God-Man,

Imbibed and imbued like the touch of Midas,

It changes through and through;

O, how I wished my birthday was stricken from the record,

O, how I did truthfully curse it,

But You are the giver of time and the comforter in holy down,

O, how I’ve wished to know You more;

A ten-point-o on the Richter magnitude scale,

A royal beat-down of God-sanctioned pain,

Pain in the heart of the suffering,

That causes sweet healing;

When the last snowflake falls,

Will we still hold the precepts in our hearts?

Walk with Me,

Talk with Me;

There is no pit,

There is no rift,

There is no mountain,

Not so deep or high as to keep Me from you;

Thy rod and Thy staff,

They lead me,

I wonder,

Can you see the season as I see?

Isaac asked where,

Isaac wanted to know,

Where the sacrifice would come from,

Let it come from the Father;

If I only imply to you,

If I only supply the canvas,

Can you paint with colored brush?

Only the reader can trace the frame of God;

Let the pain be washed away,

Let the ice melt into cleansing waters,

As the snowman smiles with black teeth,

Know that only Christ can set you free.

The Karate of Christ.

2010-11-29T19:10:00.000-08:00

The Karate of Christ.

11/29/10:

If we are to be the karate of Christ,

It’s time for us to grow fists and feet;

How can you fight without your hands?

How can you stand without your legs?

How are we going to lead the others out of darkness,

Without a light shining brightly and desperately from our hearts?

Journal Entry 777.

2010-11-29T18:25:00.000-08:00

I came to God about ten years ago. At that time I'd faced homelessness, sickness and poverty. Though people would reach out to help me, it was only God that brought me through this turmoil. This wasn't anyone's fault, more my own in fact. But at a certain point I broke. I gave my life to God and have been a changed man ever since. I hope you will read this and not only think of me, but think of the Christ I've put in this poem. He suffered and fell through the cracks, but God lifted Him up. Happy holidays!

Journal Entry 777.

11/29/10:

Honest to God,

I fell through the cracks,

Of the concrete of society;

I was unreachable,

To my friends, family and government,

But my God was there tending the sheep with care;

It’s the fact that this was there,

Amidst the shackles of my soul,

That when I called, You came;

Because You care,

I will choose to journey on,

But not under a farce about who You are;

I won’t use the past as a crutch,

Or as a wielder of fear,

It’s Truth that I want and Truth will be My proof;

This is how I know You are real,

That in the midst of a sorrowful shower of doubt,

That You would pull Me up by the collar and make Me new;

This is something I have prayed would happen to those I care about,

But sadly it wasn’t Mine to dole out,

It’s always been between them and You;

And this is where I stand, God,

At the crossroads of doubt and uncertainty,

Is there a hand to guide Me on My path?

Take that as a call that I need You,

Because You are the ray of Light for My life,

I came to You but did You really come for Me?

If We have a relationship I know the answer to that One,

If We have a relationship then it should all be okay,

But somewhere deep inside I have been running from the throne of God all these years;

Hiding myself in a veil of religion,

Crushing others,

While bearing no burdens;

I’m tired of this prison of glass,

Tear down the walls,

I want to journey on, I want to fall into Your arms;

I made a life out of dead clay,

Becoming something,

Or was it Your hands upon Mine that saved Me from the quicksand?

What is my Truth?

Is it some fancy image of prosperity?

Is it in the name of Yahweh?

Sometimes I wonder,

This is my scribble of doubt,

So take it within, take it without;

Who in the world is this young man?

The One in My hands?

He is My Son, the Lamb;

He fell through the cracks of society,

No One could save Him but Me,

So I sent Him to the cross for you.

Stun Gun 7.

2010-11-20T13:14:00.000-08:00

Stun Gun 7.

11/20/10:

You are what I least expect,

Within everyday each moment,

I plan things to be a certain way,

But like a crack of thunder I am reminded I don’t have all the answers;

What do I know?

Not enough to say I have things under control,

Thank You,

You are the Prince of Peace;

And somehow I have always been,

Guided by the great South Wind,

Within the mind of Truth,

Lies all the answers like static electricity;

Yet that is not for me to know,

Except what You do show,

When You want to,

And that is never on my itinerary;

The blessing of Life,

Is wrought with strife,

But replete with electrifying rewards,

You stun me, hallelujah.

Semiconductor.

2010-11-07T17:44:00.000-08:00

Semiconductor.

11/7/10:

Thunder crashes,

Lightning strikes,

And the hills burn in ashes;

I am on fire,

Burning brightly,

Electricity;

I am alive,

More alive than before,

Because I am humbly Yours;

Like the Quickening,

I lose my head of steam,

And discharge my false beliefs;

Static cling,

Is not for me,

I must move and move I will;

For the first time,

Again, I am ready,

Let us have victory;

Truthfully,

Holy,

Is how we’ll be.

Threshold of Release.

2010-11-06T23:23:00.000-07:00

Threshold of Release.

11/6/10:

I never would’ve agreed to this,

If I knew what I now do at first,

Nails into Your wrists,

If there were any other way to receive this gift,

I’d prefer to let You live;

But I know what I’ve earned,

Your Love I have spurned,

I have sinned,

And because of me You give,

All I can do is live;

Gepetto’s step child,

Grafted organ gone wild,

We are all on borrowed time,

So the blame is yours and it is mine,

At least now I can get it right and grow with the Vine;

Bird of prey,

Take Me away,

Ancient of Days,

One Like a Son of Man,

Bind My hands;

When I look at how far God reached,

Let my walls of foolish pride be breached,

And my unclean mildew of soul bleached,

The Czar of the Farce forever expelled, impeached,

The Son of Man waits at the threshold of release.

And I Took a Planck to the Eye.

2010-11-05T23:24:00.000-07:00

And I Took a Planck to the Eye.

11/5/10:

I am nobody,

Please forgive me,

Pardon my rudeness,

For noticing,

The speck of dust,

In my brother’s eye;

I have a planck in mine,

Lord, can You help me see past it?

I need my brother,

I need my sister,

I need my Father,

A happy family;

Yes, indeed,

We do need,

Every last part,

Some more humbly treated than others,

But a family nonetheless,

If only we’d see the plancks through Your eyes.

You: the Tower of Babel.

2010-11-05T22:56:00.000-07:00

You: the Tower of Babel.

11/5/10:

Live with the beast,

Six,

Tower of Babel,

Death by flame’s heat;

Fishing for suckers,

The entire human race works,

Tower of Babel,

Bottomless pit of lies,

Culture me;

Fling into it,

The burning sulfur,

Gnashing of teeth,

A pretty pose and,

Silver tongued wreath,

Culture me;

Who are we?

If anything,

We devise devices to divide,

If nothing,

Then maybe we can see,

Tower of Babel;

Spirituality isn’t a popularity game,

And we’re human,

Religion sets in and disease tames the brave,

Religion is anything you want it to be,

It’s an idol erected upon the altar of your heart,

It is the number of a man;

Yet, perhaps it is just for that fact,

That the truest enemy keeps us turned around,

Whirling about with guns blazing,

Ready to take out divine humanity,

Seven is the penchant for a Savior saving a soul,

All we need and we can be complete;

Six,

Alive in these end times,

Seven dead upon the tombstones of faith and demise,

Sacrifice that shed the blood to end all blood;

The way man was confused,

And stays confused lies in the heart of Babylon,

And in the heart of the husk,

Where the soul dwells there will be war,

Until we stop and think for a moment and breathe,

Let Selah bleed;

Languages are our division,

The language of you and me,

Separated from the Body,

Bodies with no brains,

Silence is what we clutch,

Meekness to heed;

In the confusion caused by the Diabolical Mastermind of all time,

How will we see our true bodies?

For the lifeless corpses we are?

Because without the Head,

There is no living,

There is only death;

The more I label myself,

The more I wear a mask,

The more I run from me,

And lose track of my true identity,

In Christ,

I alienate You.

Osmosis.

2010-10-19T19:47:00.000-07:00

Osmosis.

10/19/10:
I've made my choice,
I've chosen the right way,
Even when I stray,
A patient voice,
Shines like the day;
Resolute,
Leaving behind the speed of the sound of melodies,
Mach infinity,
Through Love, infamy, hatred and fidelity,
It's my inescapable soliloquy;
Resolution,
Arriving,
Throbbing,
Beating,
Uncontainable;
I am a monster,
Yet a lover,
Loved unconditionally,
By the Father,
In magnetism;
Photon beams,
Gamma ray infections,
Radioactivity,
Could never bestow something this grand;
I have been places many will not be,
With my Savior, the heavenly,
Magnetic,
And anti-tragic,
Forever casting spells magically on His progeny;
My dear Paragon,
This jumble of words,
A megaphone,
A symphony,
Only the Truth is the meaning.

Maker, Un-Maker.

2010-10-19T18:20:00.000-07:00

Maker, Un-Maker.

10/19/10:

My love for you,

Goes deeper than blood,

It goes deeper than spirit,

It crosses deep divides,

Of body and soul,

Penetrating to marrow;

I shoot through you,

Like an arrow,

Through the bloodstream,

In the brain,

Straight and narrow,

I made you and I can unmake you;

Sometimes I forget,

Just how closely I am tied,

To the Holy and divine,

Something as essential as skin,

Yet I push it away into the cold,

Like cutting out my heart;

Indeed I am made,

And unmade,

By One and the same,

The famed Name,

It beats within me,

More precious than gold.

It’s Like Reading War and Peace.

2010-10-15T20:50:00.000-07:00

It’s Like Reading War and Peace.

10/15/10:

I seek peace,

But peace,

Evades me;

Tell me something of harmony,

As I fall flatly to my knees,

Where can peace be?

Itching beneath my skin,

Is the pit of sin within,

It fights Him for the win;

Everyday though,

O’er the snow,

Somehow I know;

Peace disguised as war,

On resolution’s shore,

It’s what I came here for.

Saving Private Brian.

2010-10-15T20:38:00.000-07:00

Saving Private Brian.

10/15/10:

Year One of the great holy war,

As the battle rages on,

I begin to wonder why we’re here,

I see my friends dying all around me,

Why are we even fighting this stupid war anyway?

Any day now I know I’m going to be thrown into battle,

I pray to my God that he gives me a steady hand,

That he wouldn’t take my life early,

God, I don’t know what I’m going to do,

But this holy war must be fought;

It’s like a crusade or a jihad,

Lost in this world,

Lost in me,

Lost in You,

And this is the perfection of going against the grain;

Year ten of the holy war that wages within me,

Year ten and I won’t be denied,

Something is going to give,

And it’s not going to be God,

The fear lessens every day;

So I must regard each day as a lesson,

Deposits in the bank,

Stockpiling of arms,

Preparing for the blitzkrieg that draws near,

I will give my life if my life is demanded.

American Occult.

2010-10-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

American Occult.

10/14/10:

America is a cult,

Chasing the American Dream,

Instead of faith,

Trust in your wealth and you become fat,

Where is faith?

America seethes,

It teems,

It bursts at the seams,

Are we really our brothers’ keepers?

Are we ready to face death for our Savior’s sake?

America the Cult,

That should be the title of every poet’s,

Penultimate penning,

Thus we must learn to trust,

Not in me or you but in the heavenly;

We can mask it all we want,

Paint it with many hues and make it sweet tasting,

Scent it and depend on it like a crack head,

This God damned idol,

This man-made machine;

We all burn,

This much I know,

We are looking for answers,

But we don’t know where to look,

The only place I know to point you is to the Good Book;

There are many interpretations,

But will you keep an open mind,

Open enough to see why I say you’re damned?

There are many paths,

But only One leads to safety;

The shaft of light reveals the Keeper of the Day,

It reveals the Way,

Out of the maze,

When did our wives, families, jobs, possessions,

Become the tantamount to ultimate contentment?

I’m sorry but we’re wrong,

We’re wrong I say,

With everything in me,

We aren’t as strong,

As we seem to be;

The fellowship of the shackle-less,

Is not in this world,

It resides on the planet,

Of faith,

Bent on world domination like an alien destroyer from space;

We should be ashamed of our prostitution,

Learn to grow like a mutation,

We have everything,

Or we have nothing,

It’s a matter of perspective;

How can we possibly have perspective non-human?

By not trusting in humans,

How can we possibly have perspective human?

When we know the non-human?

Tell me;

A lot of good things happen,

Things get faster,

The pace of the serial killer,

His name is Satan,

Enemy;

Things get easier,

But, you fool!

Don’t you see that soon,

God will demand your very life?

Don’t you see?

Things get harder,

The crippled seek a crutch,

But do they sense they could be healed?

Who needs a crutch?

We have wings;

Americana,

Cult-O-Rama,

The fools were right to chastise the wise,

And the meek inherit Earth,

Don’t you see?

Slap me if I’m wrong,

Beat me if you fancy,

Kill me and take my dignity,

The answers escape the poet,

He or she can only hope to communicate;

It’s not an easy path,

But we as a Church,

Need to see past everything,

The only Truth that exists is Jesus Christ,

When we have Him what don’t we have?

When we have Christ we have God,

When we have God we have the Paraclete,

And that, really is all we need,

But let us not forsake the assembling of the brethren,

There are no severed body parts here;

Tell me how can you survive without a heart?

How can you succeed without feet?

How can you see without eyeballs?

Tear down the walls of foolish pride,

Tear down the idols of everything;

We are nothing without each other,

We are nothing without the Lover,

We are nothing without our souls,

Learn to balance upon the balancing beam,

Soaring like an eagle’s wings.

Freedom Foundation

2010-10-02T16:58:00.001-07:00

Unleashed,
Unseated,
Under the influence of a Spirit,
Under the stars,
Awake and soaring;
Unburdened,
I have so much to say,
Elocution,
Electricity,
Extricated,
Razed to the foundation.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5.4

Kendo.

2010-10-01T18:30:00.000-07:00

Kendo.

10/1/10:

Samurai,

Code-man,

With the katana,

Shining Light,

That cuts both ways,

Cut me to pieces;

Rearrange,

Define the order,

Sheath Your sword,

And bring comfort,

Upon the road to a dying peasant,

Dash me to pieces;

Swordsman,

Deal with this world’s daimyo,

Forge a new path for us all,

We await Your blade,

To rend and to save,

We need grace.

The Be Attitudes (Promise).

2010-10-01T18:09:00.000-07:00

The Be Attitudes (Promise).

10/1/10:

It was said,

That some of us can,

Raise the dead,

But everything here,

Smells like death,

Even me;

It was said that,

We could walk,

On the ocean’s waters,

Calm a raging storm,

And drink eternally,

From the wells of the Father;

It was foretold,

Long ago,

We would look upon,

The One we pierced,

And be healed,

Even me;

It was foretold that we could,

Be born again without reentry,

Into our mothers’ wombs,

That any wound,

Was not the end,

Are we there?

It was said that we could be washed clean,

Be given new names within the desert of life,

Names that would not fade away,

It was said that One Like a Son of Man,

Would ultimately redeem Israel,

Even me;

It was foretold,

No more suffering,

No more pain,

Joy and Light together,

Would splinter and consume the dark,

Are we there?

It was foretold,

Those who were washed,

Would stand clean in front of God Almighty,

That we could make much with little,

That we could heal the demon possessed and depressed,

Tell me everyone – are we there?

It was foretold that,

The world would end miserably,

And people still would not grasp,

The above in their hands,

Nor make it their own,

Nor remember who they were meant to be;

It came to pass that,

An ugly, wretched, beaten, dirty Root of a Man,

Made all of this possible,

Yet we could not recognize Him,

For He was beaten beyond recognition,

By you and me;

We don’t recognize Him today,

Because we choose to be ugly, wretched, beaten and dirty roots,

Severed from the tree of Life,

Be dead with me,

Whatever your definition,

It all leads back to the bottom line.

Path Finder.

2010-09-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

Path Finder.

9/27/10:

I rush through the streets of Jerusalem,

With Judas Iscariot nipping at my ankles,

I run inside and tear the veil,

Wrapped in this shroud I come to my feet;

Jesus is waiting,

Shining brightly,

I see the stars in His robe,

He takes my hand;

I stand up,

Only to find myself in the desert of trial,

I see the jackals and desert hares,

Watching me there;

I thirst,

But this was Your plan, my Lion,

A blinding binary star beats upon my back,

The moon never shows and the night - black;

My attention is on something brighter,

For that is why I am here,

I climb the formidable olive mount,

Higher and higher and higher;

As I reach the top of the world,

Suddenly the ice cuts into my skin,

The stars have never been so bright,

The answer to this test unfurls;

Instead of a desert,

There is ice,

I fall to my knees,

I will not forsake You for all the kingdoms in the world,

Though I’m freezing;

I hear a voice telling me,

“The journey is a joke,”

“It was always a joke,”

“There is no more improving;”

I would tend to believe this,

Atop my cold, cold Mount Sinai,

But my memory serves me better,

I remember seeing You behind Your eyes;

I blink and a staff appears in my right hand,

A rod in my left and I stand,

If I am insane for the glory of God,

I am sick of mischief;

Then the sky cracks with thunder,

I stumble back in wonder,

I see a face amongst the haze,

It quickly fades;

I find myself in a quiet forest,

The mountain was a memory,

But I still hold the rod and staff,

“What are these for?” I ask;

There comes an answer,

Silence,

What am I to do with these?

Yet I know what these are for;

Questions remain as do frostbitten wounds,

Pain and confusion, though terrible,

Make the journey more see-able,

Therefore see them as you must on the path.

The Dark Side of the Moon.

2010-09-26T16:57:00.000-07:00

The Dark Side of the Moon.

9/26/10:

Lament,

Another day that,

Something meant to be,

Remains lost in the sea;

Compassion,

Where we are currently,

Is not where we were,

Meant to be;

Broken record,

But fresh pain,

Every day,

Like fresh paint;

Empty,

There is so much more,

Awaiting,

Across frozen tundra;

Crown,

Of thorns,

It is the only crown,

We’re meant for;

Annihilation,

Vapors of what once was,

A desolation,

I find Love;

Indomitable,

Is the will of heart,

Love to the skies,

Showered in an arc;

It’s good to know,

We’re not alone,

It’s good to know,

The unknown.

Contradiction Conviction.

2010-09-08T19:23:00.001-07:00

Contradiction Conviction.

9/8/10:

It’s funny how,

Life’s paths,

Can snake around,

And back track,

I’m coming home again;

It’s funny how,

When you think you’ve lost yourself,

You find it in your own reflection,

Through mirrored shards, reconstruction,

Am I home?

It’s funny how,

Walking a sandy shoreline,

Leads you back in time,

To a place you’ve never been before,

A familiar smell;

It’s funny how,

We think we’re severed,

From a past that was so sweet,

When a bright new future awaits,

Reconnaissance mission complete;

It’s funny how,

We forget fundamentals,

I see now a sparkling new city upon the horizon,

I take flight upon the sky,

Is this bondage or freedom?

It’s funny how,

The path becomes the goal,

When war leads to peace,

And the Prince of Peace offers His hand,

New life is here, it’s finally here!

Om.

2010-09-06T16:26:00.001-07:00

Om.

9/6/10:

Meditations on the Word of Truth,

A salve for my eyes,

Is sight for the blind,

Progress is the Church’s greatest proof;

Medicine for my grave heart condition,

A bandage on my bloody wounds,

Tender loving care and redemption,

Reminding humans of their use;

Steak inside the stomach of,

A starving man,

You understand,

Yet more from above and just enough;

There is nothing more to say,

Something this good must be tasted by the individual,

Plain but magnificent Way,

Give us Your healing, living waters drawn from faith’s deepest wells.

The War, for Peace.

2010-09-06T13:30:00.001-07:00

The War, for Peace.

9/6/10:

Peace,

Peace upon my heart,

Peace like a soft harp,

Peace be with you;

War,

Calm me from this,

Calm me from it,

Let this war cease,

War;

Peace,

Turn down the volume,

Show me more of You,

Peace upon the horizon,

Calm;

Peace,

Rest and peace,

Relaxation’s increase,

Peace,

A psalm, so still;

War,

Upon the horizon,

War,

But war has fallen,

Void;

Peace,

Show me release,

Peace,

Put me at ease,

Peace is free;

Show me then, Prince,

Bleed the war out of me,

All my dirt, rinse,

Bind up my wounds please,

And grant the world peace.

Brother Keeping.

2010-09-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

Brother Keeping.
9/4/10:
I don’t want you to be,
Better than anyone else,
I just want you to be yourself;
When you compete against your brother,
Aren’t you severing your own arms?
Aren’t you disconnecting?
I don’t want that,
I want you to be with Me,
You must have Love, brotherly;
Then you will be united,
You will come and,
Be spiritually ignited;
You had the right idea to follow Me,
But this isn’t My Way,
You must learn to have and show mercy.

Twenty-Ninth Street Express.

2010-09-01T20:25:00.000-07:00

Twenty-Ninth Street Express.

9/1/10:

So I’m twenty-nine,

Ah, another year,

Another rhyme;

Somehow I know,

There has to be more,

Beyond life’s highs and blows;

What can I say?

I won’t complain,

But elevate and pray;

Even as a child of the Savior,

I sometimes wonder,

Are all the answers for us to understand?

Rushing through twenty-nine,

Growing older everyday, by choice,

What does it mean to be a child?

If you want my opinion,

It’s way too far from thirty,

In this world we’re finite men and women;

The point is more direct than I sometimes think,

It is the tip of a stabbing Sword,

Yet a Sword that is infinitely loving;

We are all given a purpose,

Some of us never find it,

We are all given choices;

What we do with the grey matter,

The cardiac impulses and the intangible,

Is it the sum of humanity, soul and all?

Some One wake the sleepers,

Help them reach deeper,

My Salvador;

We are like weapons,

We need to be cared for,

Leaned upon;

But you see,

God knows and we don’t,

We’re called to believe;

I don’t know how to believe,

Every day I unlearn something damaging,

Twenty-nine and forgetting;

What is the answer, God?

You have the answers so instruct me,

I fall upon the fall daily;

Believe,

Breathe,

Shalom.

The Ultimate Ultimatum – Art By Jesus Christ.

2010-08-27T23:44:00.001-07:00

The Ultimate Ultimatum – Art By Jesus Christ.

8/27/10:

Now I’ve got you,

On your knees where you belong,

Like a slave,

And I share your joy,

Your pain;

You are immovable here,

On your knees,

It’s either forsake Me,

And yourself with it,

Or embrace your calling;

In fact I’d say you have little choice,

Upon the paths you’ve taken,

The course away has led you back home,

This is My Love,

Shed for you, my loved one;

Not only that but you are bound to,

My contract,

So there is no sane choice,

Since you have little choice,

Make the right one with confident voice;

The point of all this, My son,

Is that what I open,

No one in all the universe,

Not angel or demon,

Can ever shut.

2010-08-27T23:13:00.000-07:00

8/27/10:

Who am I kidding?

Putting on this show when,

I’m really the one in need?

Confess to You I will,

Come to You with my will,

What is Your will?

I don’t even know anymore,

So tired of fighting the world,

My own war and not Yours;

I’ve compromised along the Way,

I’ve been a prodigal son,

Despite the cliché;

I’ve not kept track of my identity,

Accepted the filthy,

And traded dollars as pennies;

My thoughts don’t include You,

They certainly don’t involve You,

Nor do they revolve around You;

Where?

How?

Now?

Whisper the Truth,

To my soul,

Make me whole;

What else do I have to say?

It can’t come from me,

Don’t You see?

No?

Then tell me how this is so,

Tell me what I need to know;

I remember First Corinthians Thirteen,

Thirteen men,

Unlucky?

No, I shall never be Holy,

Not the way You are Holy,

The Way is of ebbing;

The Way is of growing,

Mysterious,

All this flows like a bloodstream;

Centrifuge,

My only refuge,

And still my tower of strength;

Deep within me You burn!

So deep inside I can’t tell,

Whether it’s Yours or my own work;

You see,

In my heart I knew You were a virus,

And You are good;

You can destroy a man’s body,

But not his soul,

This, to his Master, flies free;

If You are like a breeze,

Unseen,

Then it takes belief;

You can’t cut loose what you can’t cut,

In the first place,

It seems that I, too, am like the Wind’s gust;

As another year burns away to the ashes,

That Wind picks up a story and sends it sailing,

Scattering;

I have conquered slowly and surely,

Your soul was always Mine,

End Your running and come to Me.

Powered By Holy Spirit, TM.

2010-08-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

8/27/10:
I revolve around it,
Like blood in a centrifuge,
It’s the essential ingredient,
And the engine and my gears;
Without it,
I’d be prone to lose,
Flowing in,
Flowing out – my fears;
Like a satellite,
Across an orbit,
Of a distant,
Stately planet;
Or the Light,
To my universe it,
Shines adamant,
Through a heart’s inlet;
For when what to request,
Is not revealed,
He intercedes with His trademark,
Groans inexpressible.

Paint-Less Palette.

2010-08-24T15:25:00.001-07:00

Paint-Less Palette.

8/24/10:

Colors dance,

Of red and white,

Stains of a soul,

Tattered but whole;

The virtue of Truth,

Is salted like the waves,

Bloodshed upon a cross,

Loss for the lost;

Colors vivid,

In my mind,

In my soul,

Help me grow;

The colorlessness,

Of bleach,

Is what,

I seek;

Set aflame,

I’m a torch,

Guiding the way,

Through the dark;

Flashlight on high,

Almighty and sovereign,

Stately grace,

Humanity’s face.

Dreads Upon Zion.

2010-08-23T10:52:00.001-07:00

Dreads Upon Zion.

8/23/10:

God, help,

That is all I can say,

Derelict and deflated,

I’ve been to this place before;

God, help me,

For all it’s worth,

I am so close to the miracle,

Yet so far;

I believe,

But I’ve been quenched,

Yet the wick still smolders,

I don’t know what to do;

Despair is what I’m left with,

In the aftermath of war,

How long until the walls,

Of Jerusalem are resurrected?

I’m telling You I have nothing,

I am no one,

But the remaining bit of all this is,

I am Your child;

That’s the one thing I hang onto,

I am the remnant,

Speaking for this human being,

And You are the brick layer;

You are the masonry,

Your hands build my mansion,

And tear it down another time,

Tell me it’s time for your child to come home;

I feel like Daniel,

Standing in the shadow of an evil empire,

Holding out for truth,

Purposing in my heart;

And I am ready to come home,

I am ready to be lifted up,

Tired of living for the world,

Take away this thorn in my side;

I’m through mourning for Zion,

I’ve dreaded her loss,

Free us!

Easter in August.

2010-08-23T09:54:00.000-07:00

Easter in August.
8/23/10:
I search for,
Peace, Love and happiness,
And My reward?
War, hate and sadness;
This is the knife in My heart,
Choking the Life from Me,
But for this world to depart,
It would be My least prayer;
Drops of blood,
From My crown,
For My love,
Nailed down;
I cry out,
Wine for My thirst,
I cry out,
Of the reborn, First;
You see,
This is what the world does,
Everyday to Me,
Spitting on Love;
Take this cup of suffering,
Take this cup of war,
Take this cup and recover me,
Save the spiritually poor;
Father, into Your hands,
I commend My Spirit,
Forgive them for they do not understand,
Amen, it is finished;
It was finished,
Thank You, God,
In the aftermath,
I am strengthened;
My precious Jesus,
You are my best friend,
Thank You for what You did,
And Your Love for us;
I lift up the Name of Christ,
Like I raise the cross of pain,
Like I find Love upon that cross,
I lift up the Bread of Life;
I praise the name of Jehova Nissi,
My Banner,
Bittersweet, I took His Life,
But he gave it to me so willingly.

Foreverbody.

2010-08-19T19:47:00.001-07:00

Foreverbody.

8/19/10:

With teeth something like steel,

To rip upon my flesh slowly,

Losing blood rapidly,

There is hope in sunder;

Razing my youth to the ground,

I can hear the gun sound,

Remarkably I am safe,

There is hope in sunder;

I cringe at the loss of limbs,

Yet I am not God,

For Truth He gives,

There is hope in sunder;

A toddler learns to walk,

A miser forgets how to walk,

We are all flawed, fragile,

Take a moment to reflect;

Cancer eats away the hairline,

Fractured dreams cocooned by bodies,

Know your route completely,

We are all headed there anyway;

If you fancy the intelligent,

Harbor Truth within your brain,

Be still and reticent,

You will find hope in Christ’s divinity;

If you think you’re smart,

Tell me what good will it do in the end?

When your body departs?

Did you stop to think of a new body?

If I was a betting man,

I’d bet on death,

Because it happens,

To everybody;

If I were to further gamble,

I’d say there better darn well be an answer,

To having to leave this world’s,

Possessions behind;

If you seek peace,

If you need release,

He sells it for free,

What hope is there in sunder?

I’ll tell you what hope there is in sunder,

Believe in Me,

And you shall be set free,

Faith will strengthen any sword;

We are inseparably linked from below to above,

Me and the human race,

I invite you to spend some time swimming through My blood,

Purity and the absolute await.

Salted With Fire

The blog

The journey so far...

In Tongues.

Larva with Wings.

No Heroes.

I am the Medicine.

Kernel.

Pankration and Flame Retardation.

Dreaming of Egypt.

The Beast upon Journey's Bridge.

Kinesis.

Salient Saline Solution.

Caterpillar Wings (Penetration.)

Reflection.

Tin Man.

Mission Road.

Road Signs for the Blind.

Dragonform.

Kissing Death.

Selling Innocence.

Boomerang Logic.

Soul (The Prodigal.)

She Worships UFOs.

Beast Song.

Useful.

Nightmare of a Being Appearing as Light.

Jesus is a Nerd.

Like a Glove Haiku.

Mystery Brush.

Lilies.

A Meditation For The Troubled Mind.

Moth.

Street Operative.

Tell Me, Peter.

Reverberations of the Saints.

Brian 6:3 (Where Man Meets the Trinity.)

70 Times Infinity.

Crosses Over the Snow.

The Karate of Christ.

Journal Entry 777.

Stun Gun 7.

Semiconductor.

Threshold of Release.

And I Took a Planck to the Eye.

You: the Tower of Babel.

Osmosis.

Maker, Un-Maker.

It’s Like Reading War and Peace.

Saving Private Brian.

American Occult.

Freedom Foundation

Kendo.

The Be Attitudes (Promise).

Path Finder.

The Dark Side of the Moon.

Contradiction Conviction.

Om.

The War, for Peace.

Brother Keeping.

Twenty-Ninth Street Express.

The Ultimate Ultimatum – Art By Jesus Christ.

Copyright Holy Spirit – 2010.

Powered By Holy Spirit, TM.

Paint-Less Palette.

Dreads Upon Zion.

Easter in August.

Foreverbody.